Remembering . . .

Waverly & Oliver are both at Jill's House tonight. Matt is attending a lecture for work. I have the unique opportunity to be home alone this evening. Watson is providing excellent company however. I like to settle in on these nights and be sad. Pour a glass of wine, play some mood enhancing music, open the computer and spend time remembering the past. It's cathartic for me. 

I just finished watching several home videos of the kids during younger ages. Waverly was walking independently, Oliver was kicking a ball. Sometimes I forget all that they have lost already. I think it is a coping mechanism in our brains that keep those memories at bay. I forgot that Oliver used to love kicking a ball around the house. He would always give thumbs up when he was excited. And he used to sing the final notes of the hot dog song at the end of every episode of "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse". Wavey was my talker. She would say cheese every time she saw a camera and we would try to explain it was taking video. She would just say CHEESE over and over again. She used to love to sing. 

When the moment is right, I love to open up the memory trove and sit in the sadness for awhile. Laugh at the beauty of a moment, while at the same time weep over the loss.