Seasons and Grief

 

We are entering autumn, a heightened grief season for Matt and me. There are the looming dates on the calendar - Waverly's birthday, Waverly's deathday, Oliver's deathday. Halloween, a favorite holiday for our family, and Thanksgiving. Fall is a season of plenty and harvest, but also decline and death. It is a season that, for me, best represents grief. The joy and sorrow themes I have written of so often.

This season knocked me over. I have been so busy with my new job assisting families in anticipating their own grief and navigating their child's death. I think I forgot to tend to my own heart and hurt. I have been so aware of transference, countertransference, boundaries, use of self, etc. that I have tucked my pain too far away.

I am learning. Find balance in my practice.