Just Breathe

Waverly has been doing much better the past few days. The increased medication seems to be addressing her pain and making her much more comfortable. Thankfully she isn't experiencing any side effects from the drug and is her happy, cuddly self.

Last night, I went in to hook her up to her feeding pump. She wasn't asleep, just drowsy. She gave me some wonderfully goofy grins as I connected the tubes and starting feeding her. As soon as I walked out of her room she cried. I knew that cry. It is a lonely cry. A "mom, please stay with me until I fall asleep cry". As soon as she saw I returned, she greeted me with a giggle and settled down. I sang a few favorite songs, stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. As I looked down at her beautiful smile, I was overcome with anticipation of loss. One day I will not be able to head that silly giggle or see her toothy grin. I cannot imagine the pain.

I sat down on her bean bag chair and cried. 

Eventually the rhythmic sound of her breathing calmed me. I love that beautiful sound.