A few days out from our decision and we still feel extremely confident. This does not mean that I won't spend time wondering "what if"...I think that I will always wonder how things could be different had we chosen to go forward with the transplant.
There are many more big decisions ahead of us, waiting for an answer. We need to decide where we want to settle. We want to move some place for the long term - a place to really call home. In 10 years of marriage we have never done that!!
I am anxious to get back to the US. We have a ton of doctor appointments and we need to prepare a "safe room" for Waverly. (A "safe room" is just a bedroom with no furniture, just soft toys and a bed. We will have to install a dutch door and a video monitoring system. This allows us to put her some place safe to play and sleep. She is getting strong and will start hurting herself if we don't create a safe place for her.)
Unfortunately, Wavey seems to be changing daily. I am not sure if it is our interpretation of things now that we have a diagnosis or if she really is beginning the rapid regression. It is so incredibly difficult to watch. In a way, I feel like I am losing my beautiful little girl to this horrible disease. But then I get a smile or a look, and I know that she is still there.
I wonder if it scares her or if it hurts. I certainly pray that is not so.