Meet the McNeil Family

Meet the McNeil Family

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Out of the Comfort Zone

For those of you who remember, I had a dream a few months ago about Waverly's death. I wrote about it here without much detail, but one of the lessons learned from the nightmare was wanting to have some plans in place. This has definitely been out of Matt's comfort zone. (However, most planning falls out of his purview.) He has been incredibly supportive and we have been venturing into the funeral talk occasionally.

We had the opportunity to meet with clergy from the church we recently started attending. We wanted to introduce ourselves and also ask some difficult questions. They walked us through a service and I was struck by the beauty in the liturgy surrounding this grief filled ceremony. I was overcome with a sense of profound peace knowing what words will be said. They fully supported our choices to plan as much or as little ahead of time. And the rector said one of the most beautiful things to me, "this is the final thing you will do for your children". She acknowledged my deep love and commitment to honor my children well in their passing.

I know that some will think it odd that I found comfort in this. I know others will fully identify. As for me, I am so thankful to have a husband and church that support me in the process.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like you found a great church home. So glad!! nm

Julia said...

So glad you are able to find a small bit of piece and comfort in this difficult situation.

Pamela said...

I don't find it odd at all. I'm glad you were able to find some comfort and support in what must be an exceptionally difficult thing to consider. And those words on the page, "Where sorrow and pain are no more" must be comforting as well.

lesley said...

I think its appropriate and not strange at all. I often think about what songs I would play at a funeral for Sarah and what I would say in the eulogy, and if i would even be able to say one. Would people think badly of me if I couldn't bring myself to do it? I think about burial, ?cremation, hanging onto the ashes to eventually put in my own coffin with me? I try to imagine my life without me. As the mom, it is the last thing we can do for our child(ren). They are so right.

Joanne Huff said...

Wow, Shannon this is profound. I commend you for confronting this topic to not only feel prepared logistically, but aesthetically and spiritually as well (as much as possible, I should clarify, I know there is really no way to "prepare"). This too is outside of our comfort zone and I have not been able to even dip my toe in these waters. I admire your strength and courage. xxxx, Joanne