Five Months

Five Months

It has been five months. A moment and a lifetime twisted into one. Her smell is fading from her clothes and pillows, instead scented by my tears and perfume. Her BaaBaa is mangled by my tight grip on him throughout the night. I miss her most at night when I pass her bedroom door.

She is reminding me that she is still with me. There will be moments when I cry out to her and her wind chimes sing. I feel her spirit, but oh how I long to feel her hand in mine.

Comments

Christina said…

Waverly is with you always. I cant imagine what you are going through. She is an Angel and she is with you wherever you are. God Bless you.

April 18, 2016 at 6:49 PM

Muriel said…

No words. Sending hugs to envelop you.

April 18, 2016 at 11:11 PM

Unknown said…

Im am so sorry to hear about your loss praying for u and your family may her beautiful soul and gentle sprit rest in peace

April 19, 2016 at 4:55 PM

Welcome to Holland

By Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland.""Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.