Holy Sorrow

"Let such weeping be received, O Lord,

as an intercession newly forged of holy sorrow.

Then let our tears anoint these broken things,

and let our grief be as their consecration - 

a preparation for their promised redemption,

our sorrow sealing them for that day

when you will take the ache of all creation,

and turn it inside-out,

like the shedding of an old gardener's glove."

-Tenebrae-

This has been a difficult week. My anxiety is running high. Oliver has had continued neurological issues that remain unanswered. He is booked to see a new neurologist next month, but the waiting is  not easy. Our little world seems to have grown a bit smaller. I want to remain close to Oliver, whether that be physically by his side or within a short distance from his school.

The tension of pulling inward and longing for connections to the outside is becoming increasingly more strained. I remember this feeling. It is familiar. My fears entrap me, but my hope reminds me to reach out. To be honest and open. To invite dear friends into my holy sorrow. To allow them the honor of holding my sadness. It is quite a beautiful thing.