Up

I am sitting in our living room with the windows open and candles flickering. Spotify has been playing various playlists throughout the day and I just had a desire to listen to the theme song from the movie "Up". It is called "Married Life" and it is one of my favorite cinematic scenes, showing snapshots from a husband and wife over the years. Near the end, there is a poignant shift in the music as the woman grows ill and dies. It always makes me cry. And to be honest, I have only watched passed this point once.

There is something about the shift in the musical score. It slows and grows incredibly simple as they approach her death. For whatever reason, I simply had to listen to it tonight. Not only do I think of Matt, who I joke actually looks a lot like Carl. But it feels a bit like a soundtrack to our lives. Instead of being left alone, we are left childless.

Our time in our new home has been wonderful. However, in the midst of the move, not to mention a global pandemic, I am feeling rather unsettled and ungrounded. I want to tie balloons to a lawn chair and go off for an explore. 

I remember hearing the song the last time we were at Disney World with Oliver, just two months before he died. It was dark and quiet as we were walking down Main Street USA to leave the Magic Kingdom. This song played and it couldn't have been more poignant. It is a musical representation of the life course. And I remember the final few moments of the song and realizing how appropriate the music was to our own story with Oliver.

I felt the need to have a good cry tonight and this song was my catalyst.