A friend of mine who had her first child last year mentioned she felt like she was losing herself in motherhood. Her identity became so wrapped up in being a mom, she was neglecting the other parts of herself. I have heard this sentiment before, but I must finally be ready to understand. I get it. Totally and completely.
Since the kids were diagnosed life has changed dramatically for our family. Matt changed his career, we moved to the DC area, and I threw myself into caring for Waverly & Oliver. However in the process of caring for them, I have neglected me. I used to feel selfish for feeling this way, but I am realizing that if I care for myself I am better prepared to care for the kids.
So begins my journey of refocusing, not to the detriment of the kids, but to the betterment of me. I need to take care of my body - eat better and exercise - to be healthy and strong. I need to take a class or find a hobby, taking some time each week to learn and grow. The most difficult challenge will be developing friendships and connections. I often feel so lonely, connecting with people via phone calls, texts and Facebook. I need local relationships.
I am beginning to realize that when Waverly & Oliver pass away, I need to have some support and structure built into my life to carry me through.
*ISO compassionate women who will accept a loyal friend with lots of baggage and a very complicated story*