Double Digits

January 06, 2017

Double Digits

Sweet little Oliver turned 10 years old on December 30th. Double digits are a big deal. His birthday often gets lost in the midst of the holidays. This time Matt took off for the day and we tried to do some things he loves. We started at our favorite bakery and filled him with mixed berry croissants and maple doughnuts. Then lots of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse combined with snuggles on the couch. I made a pot roast and my parents joined us for dinner. We ended the day with his favorite - ice cream.

I have written about the difficulties of birthdays for years. Most parents want time to slow down, but those of us raising children with life limiting illnesses especially want to savor each moment and pause time. As much as I want to celebrate Ollie turning ten years old, I also mourn another year passing.

Our son with an old soul is slowing down. He isn't walking as far as he used to. He would rather snuggle on the couch than bounce around in front of the tv. And his swallowing is deteriorating so much so that I see us utilizing his g-tube sooner rather than later. When he gives you eye contact, he looks straight into your soul. He is my gentle giant.

Comments

Anonymous said…

Thinking you guys.

The Lowreys

January 7, 2017 at 10:30 AM

Welcome to Holland

By Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland.""Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.