Numbness Has Faded

Matt and I were able to fly to Orlando last weekend for Blair's funeral. With the help from family and friends, we left Oliver in their care and were able to spend a few days away. This is the third funeral we have attended since Waverly's. The first two were within weeks of hers and looking back I have realized how numb I must have been. I was in a daze, grieving with my friends but unable to fully feel what was happening. I felt this one.

It was a beautiful service. Everyone was asked to wear purple and the chapel was filled with purple hued guests supporting the Chapin family. Blair touched so many lives and she was deeply loved. Her 13 year old sister spoke eloquently about her big sister, her inspiration. And her dad gave a eulogy that made us all laugh, smile, and cry. It was perfection.

Sorrow and Joy continue to be the theme of my journey. Vacillating between tears and laughs throughout the day. I mourn the loss of Blair. And I ache for my friend, Susan, as she navigates life without one of her children. I now know grief and I hate knowing my friend has to walk this path. Yet we grieve because we love.

I thought of Waverly. I thought of her as I saw similarities in Blair's photos - the same chubby cheeks and soulful eyes. I thought of her when Blackbird was played during the slide show, an homage to Wavey. I remember walking down the aisle behind the priests, ready for the service to begin. And I remember the painful walk out of the church, knowing the funeral was over. The last event I had planned for Waverly was complete. Life continues on and I have to adapt to the after.