Oliver has been falling asleep often while riding in the car. It is incredibly sweet, but also unnerving. I want to see him active and energetic, engaging with his videos and looking out of the windows. His screams and giggles should fill the air. My arms and back sore from his contact kicks. Instead when I look in my mirror I see this beautiful little soul tiring from the long fight, the disease continuing to batter his body. My heart softened ever so slightly on my drive home. For one brief moment I felt that familiar tug on my heart - he is not mine, God will take him in His time. I don't want him to suffer. It's not time.