I am sad. Deeply sad. I have cried every day for the past few weeks sad. It is that time of year. Birthdays and holidays. This time of year always points out how quickly time has flown by and just how different my life looks from what I had hoped. I have tried different tactics to get through this season. I have tried my best to pretend and have the "perfect" storybook Christmas. This always ends with disappointment. We left town last year which worked fairly well.
This year I am determined to be as realistic as possible. Waverly and Oliver have no concept of Christmas day being special. There is no anticipation of presents left by Santa, no waking early to rush to see what is under the tree. So I am embracing what they do love. Twinkling lights in every room. A few gifts, purchased in the toddler section. I am going to make a delicious breakfast, because Oliver's love language is food. I see lots of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episodes being watched in our pjs and maybe a walk around the neighborhood with Watson.
I keep having to remind myself of these realistic expectations. Disappointment and sadness will still creep in. However I realized that Sanfilippo cannot take my Christmas spirit away. It tried, but I refuse to allow it. Waverly and Oliver's little faces staring at the shining Christmas lights were just the reminder I needed.