Meet the McNeil Family

Meet the McNeil Family

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Ten Weeks

It's been ten weeks since Waverly died. A dear friend commented that she is reminded of the way a mother carefully counts a newborn's weeks and eventually moves into months. It feels strangely similar, yet horribly different. I despise moving into the double digits weeks since I last held her hand and smoothed her hair. Each moment I am moving farther away from her presence. I am unable to erase from my mind the horror of realizing she had taken her last breath. Each Wednesday morning at 7:30 I am transported back in time to the extreme agony I felt when I lost her.

I haven't been writing much, because I haven't been feeling much aside from missing Wavey. The permanence of her absence has yet to sick it and I keep thinking that I can change this. Something can be done to bring her back. I am unable to process anything more during this time.

4 comments:

Kate said...

I can't even begin to get close to imagining the depth of sorrow and sadness
you are feeling. But I am a mom. So I do know the love you are feeling. I can't stand it when people who aren't moms give advse about parenting as if they know. They can't begin to know. So I don't mean to be one of "those". One who talks like they've got it figured out for you. Take what you want or can from these thoughts I had about this recent post of yours. I was thinking about what 7:25 AM on that Wednesday 10 weeks ago must've been like for you. Waverly was still here. I image you were laying with her, feeling her breathe and kissing her warm cheeks, as you've written in the past. Perhaps at 7:25 AM next Wednesday, you could think about "11 weeks ago at this moment I was with my Wavey, doing...."? Concentrate on that feeling until well past the 7:30 mark which rightly so brings so much pain. I don't know if it's the right thing to do emotionally or if it would even help. Again, I know you need no advise. You need to be doing what you are doing, and what you are doing is perfectly fine. Just every once in a while I hear something from someone and it completely changes a thought prosess for me and I'm so glad I heard it.
It's ok if you don't publish this comment. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and your family tonight. I am thinking about how you and Waverly belong to each other....forever....
I have been following your blog since the kids' diagnosis. I think about you all often. Thank you for your honest posts and thoughts.

Karlene said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm continuing to lift you all up in prayer!

Joanne Huff said...

Shannon, I don't even know what to say. I am utterly without words. Please know how often we think of you. xx. Joanne

Jessi and Nic said...

We don't know each other but I have followed your journey through the blog. We also have mutual friends in the Nova area. My heart aches for you...I think of you often. Know you are being prayed for even if you don't have the energy to pray. Love and prayers...