Emotional

I spent most of the afternoon and evening going through boxes in our new apartment.  I was very surprised how emotional I became while going through Waverly & Oliver's things.  I have a HUGE box of toys to give away.  They are wonderful toys, but just too advanced for the kids.  It is sad to know that my kids won't be able to play Candy Land or Chutes and Ladders like other kids their age.  There were coloring books that Waverly used a few years ago when she still enjoyed scribbling with her crayons.  She can't even hold a crayon anymore.  There were dolls that she would pretend to feed and take care of.  There were baby clothes, a swing, bouncy seats, a Baby Bjorn, so many things that gave us so many memories.

I went back to the apartment late tonight, by myself.  I needed to let out more tears.  I needed to mourn.  I have been waiting for the reality to hit me and tonight it finally did.  I think this is going to be a much more difficult process than I imagined - emotionally speaking.