Just a Toy

December 17, 2010

Just a Toy

Oliver was carrying around a puzzle that is housed in a little suitcase-like box. It was a puzzle I bought for Waverly when she was 2. It has various zoo animals on it - she used to love going to the Columbus Zoo. It is a large floor puzzle and I have a lot of memories of doing this particular puzzle with her. Good memories.

All of a sudden, Oliver tossed the box onto the floor and it broke apart. Ugh! I was instantly upset. For a moment at Oliver. And then at the sadness this little puzzle reminded me of.

I miss Waverly bringing me the puzzle. Helping to unlatch the box. Handing me the pieces. Dancing on the puzzle before I had a chance to finish it. I think she thought the puzzle was her own little portable dance floor.

She used to say "puzzle". I miss that, too.

The box lid will soon be taped back on with packaging tape. It will remain in my possession for as long as possible. A reminder of happy times.

Comments

Amanda said…

Aren't reminders of happy times just wonderful? Little things that the kids play with, or have touched, or that cause a memory to reappear in your mind. Sometimes takes your breath away? I know you will cherish your memories! You are such a strong mommy, such strong parents. And your children are so beautiful. Such special spirits from their heavenly father. Though you know the stages, love them as much as you can, as you are :) Never forget that you will have them with you forever, no matter what happens in the future.

December 18, 2010 at 1:47 AM

Welcome to Holland

By Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland.""Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.