Hi Ho Cherry-O

Waverly woke up with a fever and cold symptoms Saturday, so she spent the weekend indoors.  Oliver and I were able to head out to a birthday party in the evening and had a wonderful time celebrating Brayden's second birthday.  Yesterday we were able to run errands and I spent some time cleaning the kids' room.  Waverly has become such an intense chewer.  I went through the toys and got rid of some of her favorite items that just aren't safe (hard plastic, peeling paint, parts that can break off, etc).  I also did yet another baby proofing scan, to be sure we don't have any chokeables around.

We had been holding on to a few items that we just weren't able to part with during our last purge.  One of those things was the game Hi Ho Cherry-O.  Waverly LOVED this game.  When she was 3 she used to say "cherry-o" and bring the game to the table.  We would try to play, but she was never able to spin the spinner and she would often try to eat the cherries.  The game became such a point of frustration for me.  I just couldn't understand why she couldn't get it and why such a simple game was so difficult for her.  I used to dream of playing board games with my kids.  But every time we would try to play, I would end up having to put it away before we finished.  I held the box for a few minutes before I knew that I was able to let it go.  It is such a simple thing - donating a forgotten toy - but for me, it was one of those moments.  I was reminded of all of the changes in my sweet baby girl.  She never had the ability to understand the simple concept of spinning the arrow and counting out the cherries.  I feel guilt from my frustration and sadness in the dream lost.

Comments

Christine said…
I'm so sorry, Shannon. Praying for peace for you tonight.
aprilfoolwed said…
Oh Shannon - I can't even imagine how it must feel to constantly find reminders of life before Sanfilippo - and reminders of how it has changed your lives. We keep you in our prayers constantly.
Beth said…
I am a '89 TU grad who also read your story in the TU magazine. I think and pray for you and your family. As in many situations we don't know what to pray so I often pray scriptures, this is what I will pray for you today:

Psalm 94:18-19 (NIV)

18. When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me.
19. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

Praying His Word will comfort you.
Beth
Laura said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joanne said…
Hi Shannon,

I just wanted to come by and let you know that I understand. Yesterday, Sasha's 5th grade teacher asked for some chronological pictures of Sasha since birth. (She is doing a project about Sasha for a graduate course). I pawed through lots of old, beautiful photos of a girl much more able than she is today. It made me wish I'd known of her diagnosis sooner so I could have been more understanding all those years when she couldn't "get" things. Simple things, just like you said. And then it feels so weird to wish to have known of such a horrible diagnosis sooner. The surreal, mixed emotions that come with this disease are SO hard to digest. Sorry to ramble, but I just wanted to let you know that I understand and am thinking of you today. Joanne
Misty said…
Understanding just how you feel, Misty www.miracle4will.com
The Leivas said…
Shannon-I just found your blog through your comment and through Penny. I've really enjoyed reading about your family. Waverly and Oliver are adorable! I love the inspiration for your blog title. I've been struggling to find the words to explain what this process is like and you have described it beautifully.
Anonymous said…
So hard to let go of the past, try to enjoy today, it will be worth it.

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