Trimming the Tree

December 07, 2010

Trimming the Tree

Yesterday I spent some time decorating for Christmas. I lit my vanilla frosting candle (much simpler than baking) and played my favorite holiday album ("The Darkest Night of the Year"). I opened the trunk that holds all of our decor, took a deep breath and dove into the holiday spirit. I decided to make things a little easier this year. Just lights on the tree - no ornaments for the kids to pull off and put in their mouth. I can't find a safe place for our stocking holders, so I took out my hammer and hung them on the wall. The apartment feels warm and cozy. I love the glow of the Christmas lights. My spirit feels better.

Comments

Ashley said…

I have a fondness in my heart for Waverly and Oliver even though I've never met your family. I don't miss a blog post, and I pray for your sweet children. But most of all I'm praying for your heart this season. I know that you talk about the joy your kids bring to you, but clearly there is also heartache and sorrow in your days and even moment by moment, too. I'm so sorry for your pain and just wanted you to know that I'm praying, even when I don't know exactly what to pray for. I hope the season brings unexpected blessings and incredible joy, and especially the very real sense that God is near to you and your sweet family.

December 10, 2010 at 3:24 PM

Welcome to Holland

By Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland.""Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.