Moment

Last night I had a "moment".  These are the times when everything overwhelms me and the only thing I can do is weep.  Matt met a friend after work, so it was just the kids and I for the evening.  After dinner and bath we were playing in the living room.  Of course Oliver is moving from toy to toy, finding anything that makes noise.  Wavey was rolling around on the floor and snuggling up to me.  All of a sudden, her smile turned into the saddest face - bottom lip out, corners of her mouth turned down, eyes teary.  It lasted about 5 seconds.  She just stared at me, about to burst into tears.  Then it passed.  These are the moments that scare me the most.  I feel like in that instant she was scared from all that is happening to her.  I could see the pain on her face.  I take some solace in the fact that she seems unaware of most of the changes.  But sometimes she wants to say something so much - she pulls in super close to me and stares into my eyes.  Then the moment passes and she wanders away.  I long to know what she is trying to say to me.  These moments are so painful.